Slice of Life 3/8

The secret to a perfect tiny scoop of ice cream is that cookie dough scooper thing.

 I stirred in the orange peel, hoping that the fire was not too hot and and my sugar was secure, all while instructing my brother on how to mold cookie dough to the outside of muffin tins. Cooking sugar always seems precarious, even if it is basically just simple syrup. They cooked for fifteen minutes, smelled oddly similar to bacon, cooled for an hour and were dipped in chocolate and chilled. My candied orange peels were only one element of my crazy weekend project, along with cookie bowls and orange sorbet. I made everything myself, I even juiced the oranges. My project took several hours, an unreasonable amount of sugar and a ton of dishes, but it was fun, and it was really good, and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing something other than watching TV. The question is, how much work is this product worth?

Slice of Life 3/7

I have never liked math. I don't know why, but some people like it and I guess I am just not in that minority. Yesterday I spent a total of two hours and forty-five minutes in math. It was unspeakably awful. There is a lot of stress involved with my math experience on Thursdays, because the morning is spent preparing for a quiz that will haunt me all morning, then once I take the quiz, my brain is used up for the day, which makes the rest of math and the last hour of school almost always unproductive. I always wonder why I hate it so much. It's logical, which I should like, and it involves problem-solving, which is very satisfying. I guess that trying to juggle a terrible grade cancels all that out, and once again, the repulsive power of math is too strong for my terribly weak attempts at positivity.

Slice of Life 3/6

Sometimes snow is disappointing and sometimes it's very exciting. During the winter I try as hard as I can to ignore the fact that global warming is definitely happening, which is why I am so excited to wake up to a fresh coat. It's officially March now, which means that although it is come rely normal weather, I am done with snow. I forget to appreciate how pretty it is. At least it is spring snow which means that it is almost spring, but real spring never involves copious amounts of frozen water. Then again, real winter doesn't involve seventy degree weather.

Slice of Life 3/5

Nancy and Tom are back from their honeymoon and they are so tan. Nancy said she used a special brand of suntan lotion. I cannot believe that they got to see the world's largest garden hose. Unbelievable. Meanwhile, my bridge club tried a new restaurant and it was much too spicy. I ended up at that dreadful hospital and just my luck, I got the dreadful nurse. Boy, she really let herself go, just like Jimmy before he died. I ran out of my lipstick on the day that I went to get my hair done. Imagine that! Walking into the beauty shop feeling completely unprepared. Melanie's daughter just had a baby. Isn't that wonderful? She's getting the arthritis so she might have to retire soon and I might have to find another beauty shop that knows how to do my hair how I want it. That's really it, but here is a recipe that I just love and is easy on my stomach:

1 box minute rice

1 stick bacon

1/4 lb. butter 

1 box lime jello

2 slices gluten free bread

1/4 cup mayonnaise 

Make jello and minute rice. Melt butter. Combine. Chop bacon as a garnish. Bake for 30 minutes at 400 degrees. Chill. Toast bread and spread thick layer of jello mixture. Add mayonnaise. Enjoy!

Slice of Life 3/3

So Nancy's weddng went without a htch. We sorted out the ssue with the cake manufacturer and she fnally lost the last 67 pounds and ft nto her wedding dress lke a glove. For heaven's sakes, where s the 'eye' key?  cannot fnd t. Oh, there it is. What a relief. Anyway, the dress was just darling. And also my grandchildren are just darling. Today little Kaeliyne took her first step and it was so precious and I even forgave my daughter-in-law for picking such a stupid name. I suggested Dorothy Hyacinth after my dear mother but they weren't having it. Hmm-mm, no ma'am. In my hometown it was disrespectful to disrespect your elders like that. She's a real daft little thing, always on her iWhoosawhatsit and tweetering and giving her personal information to all these Intranet creepers. Anyway, Nancy and Tom are so happy to be married and I could not be happier. They took their honeymoon to Columbus and I just cannot wait until they get back. My son taught me all about Intranet abbreviations and I am going to try some out. Oh, and Flo broke her hip. She is at that dreadful hospital downtown. I have not been to visit her because she is with the dreadful nurse who mixed up my pills when I had my operation. To end on a positive note, here is a lovely recipe that I tried at Nancy's wedding:

1 cup ham, diced
2 tomatoes
1 1/2 cups Sunpix hearts of palm
1 box fetuccine
2 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup melted lard
pinch chili powder
pinch cinnamon
salt

Put ham, cream, tomatoes, hearts of palm and spices in blender. Pulse until smooth. Boil in pot. Cook noodles, strain and put back in pot with melted lard so they don't stick. Mix with sauce. Serve lukewarm.

 Author's note: I did not actually go to a wedding. This is my old person alter ego and her life is much more interesting than mine at the moment. This is also making fun of those bloggers who post general information about their lives that no one really cares about. This recipe is mostly real. It is from the back of the Hearts of Palm jar. 

Slice of Life 3/4: Everybody Sees the Ants by A.S. King and Shooting the Moon by Frances O'Roark Dowell

I forgot to read a book in these past two weeks, so I read two this week. Everybody Sees the Ants is about a kid who has been bullied by this other kid since he was in second grade. His parents are having marriage problems, so his mom takes his to Arizona to visit his aunt and uncle. He also has these dreams where he tries to rescue his grandfather, who never came home from the Vietnam War.
I really liked it. The main character was a believable teenager, and the author did a good job of exposing problems that people our age face while not making them seem incredibly stupid like some young adult authors. I liked the writing style and the protagonist had a very distinct and sarcastic voice. It was very interesting to read. The characters were all well developed and the many plot lines that were introduced were all tied up at the end. I would recommend this book to most people in our class, but it does have some mature themes.

My second book was Shooting the Moon. It is about a girl who has grown up in an army family and she is excited when her older brother enlists and is sent to Vietnam. Instead of letters, he sends her film, which she has to learn to develop. The pictures are graphic and bloody, and she learns that the army might not be as great as she thought it was.
I did not like this book. I didn't think it would be that young because the main character was about thirteen, but the author made her a total idiot. She also had no personality and the plot was incredibly predictable. The only good thing about this book was that the font was so big that it took me about an hour to read. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Slice of Life 3/2

         When I was in 4th grade, I was on an overnight and the vegetarian option was veggie lasagna or peanut butter and jelly. The latter seemed like the easier, more reliable option, but I was unjustly forced to eat the veggie lasagna, the most disgusting food I have ever eaten. Anyway, that is why I chose to go on the snowshoe trip on Friday. The Veggie Lasagna factor.
        Overall, it was disgusting. Basically, it was mushed up vegetables in between lasagna noodles, no cheese or anything. I ate it the same way I eat all horrible foods, by just picking at the less horrible parts. The edges of the noodles with no veggie mush tasted pretty good, the same way that the part of the digging the giant snow holes and eating lunch were fun on our field trip. And yet, the part that I still remember most vividly from both events were the bad parts, such as finding those little broccoli spores and painfully hiking up giant hills with feet that took a ton of effort to lift. Am I glad I ate the veggie lasagna? No. Am I glad that I went snowshoeing with my class? Yes. Somehow, the Veggie Lasagna factor has room for variation.